What to Sell: You

All in all, dating is very much like meeting a prospective client and making a sale in the business world. The product you are selling is YOU.

No, not your body, of course! But YOU - the person that the woman (client) would like to date and get to know better.

Just like it would be out in the business world, the first impression is the deal-maker or breaker. If you produced a product to sell out in the business world that way dirty and actually smelled bad, you would likely never make a sale. In the dating world, if you appear dirty, disheveled and unkempt, you aren’t likely to make a sale there either. First impressions are immediate, long lasting, and usually permanent.

Regardless of how great you are, and no matter how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is, your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other person's initial sense of who and what you are. There are statistics that bear out the power of first impressions. Statistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally. It is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating success, just as it will negatively affect your success in business.

The initial impression you make on a prospective date predicts whether she will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a product and the person you want to date as the buyer. Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game
If you want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind "the numbers game." Accept and follow these tenets:

• You are a product.
• You are the product's salesperson, its packager, and its advertiser.
• The person you're trying to attract is your customer. She will make her buying decision based upon presentation, packaging, and advertising.
• The world's best salespeople don't have a 100 percent sales rate, a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent or even a 25 percent rate. The world's best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales rate and count themselves lucky if one out of every ten "pitches" results in a sale. So you aren’t a loser when she isn’t buying…you are a victim of statistics.

The single most important quality that women want in a date is self-confidence. Confidence is the key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order to be successful. People do not buy products or services from someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they represent. A confident person is one with a plan and a goal.

Analyze the competition and do things better than they do. Just as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports team, study your dating competition if you want to win!

Now you have what it takes to be a player in your own rights and fully equipped with top-notch seduction secrets under your sleeve. Remember, it takes some practice but ultimately, you can now win yourself a woman you’ve always wanted!

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Find Out As Much As You Can

Grab your pens, paper, and get ready to take notes. Well, maybe not, but studying skills will certainly be to your advantage if you plan to seduce a woman successfully. This is one of those hugely important things in a relationship when you're trying to move things right along to the level of romance. Getting to know that special woman is about the time you spend with her, and about what you get from communication, both verbal and physical. And the more you know, the better your chances. Trust me, if you plan to keep your relationship moving forward, you are going to have to find out as much as you can about her.

You may recall in previous pages that I kept telling you to get to know her better. The more you know, the better your chances are to impress her, and even better are your chances to avoid a major blunder. After all, the last thing you want to do is to upset her. That's a surefire way to kill your chances for romance. With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the things you can do to get to know her better.

Communication. We already discussed this at length, but some of what I said bears repeating. First, make sure you give her a chance not only to speak, but to start conversations as well. There is really no better way to get to know her than through the interaction you'll have with her in conversation. Don't forget: it's the body language as well as the verbal language that tells you so much about her. What you learn through all of this communication will serve as a great starting point, from which you can move on to the following suggestions to fill in any blanks in your knowledge of her.

The point of all of this is to get to know as much as you can about your woman as an individual. So many people think that all women or all men like the same things, which simply is not true. Although there are a good number of things that women a lot of women have in common, there are an equal number of things that they don’t have in common. The same can be said for men. For example, if a woman was to assume that all men love football she’d be wrong. Likewise, a man would be wrong to assume that all women love cats. Each woman is unique, so you must take the time to find out what she, as a unique person, really wants before you can seduce her.

Family and friends can be a valuable source of information when it comes to finding out more about your special lady. However, I must stress to you that you shouldn’t put too much stock in what you learn from them without learning as much as you can from her, first. Many people take for granted that family and friends know more about a person than anyone else does, but this can often times prove to be very wrong. You’ll also want to be care when looking to her friends and family to learn more about her as you may run the risk giving her the impression that you’re prying into her private life. Many people, male and female, are very sensitive about this. So be careful to not be overly inquisitive with her family or friends.

Ultimately, it all comes back to what you can learn about her for yourself. While it is helpful to get a few tips from her friends, family, and acquaintances, too much of this type of fact-finding will make her feel more like a suspect in an investigation. So it's back to what you can find out for yourself. And the best possible way to do that is to get her in different settings and see what happens. It's already pretty clear that your relationship is dead in the water if you keep doing almost the same exact thing on every date. There's a reason for that. Number one: it's boring. While spending time with each other is the main goal, you must find different scenes to keep it lively. Number two: it is the change of scenery, and of situations, which allows you to get to know one another better. Everyone responds differently in different environments.

Knowing your special lady well is going to require that you be able to understand her behavior. Behavior alone is a major key to the health of a relationship, and how she behaves in a restaurant, or at a concert, or down at the beach will be determined by many different things. To start with, try to pay attention to how your mood affects her mood. Noticing the way your good day, or your bad day, affect you, and then how your resulting behavior affects her, will help you tremendously. Similarly, take note of how she reacts when you're out on a date. Is there a crowd? Does this bother her, or give her more energy? What's the weather like? Does she hate the rain, or does she think it has a romantic feel to it?

All of these things will help you to find out more of what you need to know about your companion so you can keep your relationship moving along in the direction of romance. But even here I feel the need to add a word of caution. Remember how I've said that women love to be paid attention to, and how they appreciate it when you're willing to listen to them in conversation? Well, just remember, they love it when it's natural and right for the moment. But women hate to be studied as if they were in a laboratory. Who doesn't? So make sure that you are keeping with the mood when you ask questions, and that nothing seems really out of place.

Never, never change the subject in the middle of a conversation just to find out something about her that you don't think you can wait for anymore. It can ruin the mood, and worse, it can make her suspicious. Regardless of your motives, you need to make sure that she feels like this is for her more than for you. After all, in a lot of ways, it is for her. You're trying to break from a past with failed relationships, and you know that seduction will be a key test of the success of this one. You don't want anything to go wrong, so exercise caution and restraint when you try to find out more about her.

Finally, the very best advice I can offer you is that women are all alike in that they are female, and not much alike in any other way. It may sound silly, but some people actually make the mistake of stereotyping all women into the world of pretty flowers and a man who'll open the door for her. It's just not that way. Many women do love to be treated delicately by a man. But there are some women who would much rather spend the evening with you at a local rock-climbing gym before you grab a bite to eat.

It's about having realistic expectations that this woman you're involved with is unique, and that you know absolutely nothing about her until you've seen it yourself. Never assume; that's a killer. The first time you assume you know what she wants, she'll begin to lose that gentlemanly picture of you she'd been building in her mind. In its place will be an overbearing, chauvinistic man much like all the others she's dealt with. You really don't want that to happen if seduction is your goal. Remember, she will appreciate you much more for taking the time and effort to learn exactly what she likes, wants, feels, thinks and needs because this is a sure sign that you care, want to understand her and want to make her as happy and feel as special as you possibly can. And after all, isn’t that what we all want?

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Listen More, Talk Less

Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we're going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I'm mainly concerned with your success in the realm of seduction.

Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you're asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you're saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better.

That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn't hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn't, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship.

Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word 'communication'. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you're looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you're expecting someone else to listen. But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That's why it's so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.

Conversations, by even the simplest definition, are all about the two-way communication where ideas, thoughts, and opinions are not simply expressed, but shared as well. It's give and take. And isn't that what the whole concept of a relationship is based on. It's all about exchanges, the giving and the taking by both you and her. What's more, you'll find that when you give, you get much more in return. The exchange of a conversation will offer you ever-increasing rewards, provided you participate in the conversation and give it the importance it deserves.

The trick to conversation is that you have to be willing to hear things that you may not necessarily want to hear. If you don't already possess the qualities of empathy, compassion, concern, and a desire to be helpful, this may be a very good time for you to start working on developing those qualities. They are vital to communication, especially when you are communicating in a relationship. If you want her to develop a trust in you, and remember that trust is crucial if you hope to succeed with romance, you're going to need the communication skills I've named in order to let her know you care about what she's saying and that you want to be there for her.

But wait. There's a problem that comes up far more often than you may realize. You've probably already experienced it at some point in the past. You're having a conversation, everything is going well, and then you get stuck on some point you just can't let go of. You've just derailed the conversation, and now it's just you talking. Trust me, there are few things that serve as more of a put-off than to have a conversation turn into a speech all about how one person feels about something. The exchange has died, and so has the mood. Avoiding this snare is a little tough sometimes, but it can be done. Just remember that while you are communicating verbally, she is still communicating physically.

Body language can often be the key to knowing whether you've derailed a good conversation. A frown on her face may be a good clue that you've said something to make her uncomfortable. If she starts looking toward the door, or looking at her watch, you should know what that means. She's losing interest and you'd better get the conversation moving again. Not always, but most often, her body-language can be a great guide to how you're doing with the conversation. One of the most important things to note about body language is that it varies from person to person. What looks like an expression of discomfort or frustration on one face may very well be concentration on another.

So body language is certainly not a type of communication you can learn from a textbook. It is something you're going to have to learn from the individual. Yes, it is true that some expressions are universal and mean the same thing coming from anyone, but don't take the risk of misinterpreting those less-obvious expressions. It's better to just get to know her, and along the way you'll learn what her body language is telling you. Besides, knowing her body language and responding to it is an excellent way to show her how much she matters to you and just how much you're paying attention to her. So, guys, if you want to impress her, this is one way where you can't go wrong.

Another thing to remember that can serve you well is to not be the one who always starts the conversation. When you start the conversation, you're the one picking the topic to talk about. You can't read minds, so chances are you're not going to hit on the subjects that are going to really catch her interest. This is another give and take exchange for you to keep in mind. You can start conversations, sure, but make sure you leave room for her to do the same. It's a great way to get to know her, and she'll appreciate it.

If you take nothing else from these pages, remember that women want to be heard. They don't want to be talked to all the time, and never get a chance to express their own opinions and views with equal time. As you've heard me say before, it's all about sharing. Relationships are two-way streets, to borrow from a cliché, and you must be willing to allow traffic to flow down those streets without interruption. The end result will be well worth the effort. She'll develop a sense of trust and respect for you that won't come from lecture-style talking. And, once again, that trust and respect is what will lead you to success in romance and seduction.

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